Booze is a universal language.
You can go anywhere in the world and you’d always find alcoholic beverages. Wherever you are, it serves the same purpose.
But liquor, unfortunately, didn’t seem to have escaped the gender norms. “Girly drinks” are bar staples. But God forbid your macho man touches any of the stuff.
But drinking plain old beer can get old fast. And the men really don’t know what they’re missing.
Here’s a list of girly drinks saucing the ladies’ spirits up, and why guys should give it a try.
Ingredients: white rum, pineapple juice, blue curacao, cream of coconut
Tastes like: pina colada
Ladies, you’d like its pretty blue color. Gentlemen, now you can tell your momma you’ve eaten your fruit for the day.
- Mai Tai
Ingredients: white and dark rum, pineapple juice, orange juice, lime juice, grenadine
Tastes like: a candy shop had a party in your mouth. It’s absurdly sweet.
They say the mai tai is a “hurricane”. There’s nothing more bad-ass than drinking a hurricane. If you do it in winter, you get double the bad-assery credit, too.
Ingredients: red wine, triple sec, brandy, orange juice, chopped fruit
Tastes like: red wine, if it pissed sugar
There’s only one reason to drink it and it’s this: Spaniards drink it. And they’re hot. Ergo, you’d be hot by association. That’s all.
- Sauvignon Blanc
Ingredients: white wine
Tastes like: white wine, or fermented grapes
Wine supposedly makes food taste better. And women love to appear like wine connoisseurs. They make wonderful, wonderful assumptions about men who look like they are, too.
The Strangely Tough-Sounding
- Tom Collins
Ingredients: gin, lemon juice, syrup, bitters, club soda
Tastes like: gin. Only it died from sweetness overdose.
Because talking about whether Tom Collins is an actual person or not can actually be a fun activity when you’re slightly intoxicated.
- Thug Passion
Ingredients: Alize and Cristal
Tastes like: liquid decadence
You know what the patron saint of the thug life, 2Pac, said. You don’t? Well, let’s just say it’s steamy hot. Google it if you don’t believe me.
Gender shouldn’t really define what you do or don’t drink. As long as it tastes good, why should you care if you have the right chromosomes to order it?
So let’s all raise a collective toast to hootch. May men’s and women’s spirits continue to be lifted by it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need a drink.